Oral examinations (referred to as 'oral' in short by most students) are mandatory as part of education of the english syllabus here in Singapore , generally challenging a student's aptitude in discussing a picture provided and narrating a short passage. However, an increasing number of students today fall short. And how much more distressed would students these days feel over 'oral' considering even their parents feel the heat? "I find oral disgusting!" replies a student whom yussof casually interviewed. Taking into account that education has evolved into alot of spoonfeeding and increasing emphasis on grades, the written paper has become the focal point of local examinations. Essays, short answered questions and mcqs take up most of the weightage in the O' and A' levels examinations, leaving the Oral segment a queer anomaly of the English examinations. A mouthful too much for many. Yussof surmises that this could be the reflection of a greater, unseen problem of our society, one that is socially segregated, compartmentalised and protected. One in which individuals choose to be distinct and superior to another, one that fears strangers. One that lacks the initiative to hold the lift for a stranger, one that refuses to say hello to his neighbour. And the root of the problem; a lack of oral, linguistic skills to break down the unseen veils between individuals. This may be too much to swallow. Therefore Yussof would like to point out a few pointers on how to improve your oral. Part 1: Reading the passage -Smile and look the person in the eyes since the first degree of contact is usually visual. Follow these guidelines for a safe start. Then we proceed to part 2. Part 2: Picture Description -Narrate the picture describing where the scenario takes place Let's have a go and see how this works. This picture shows a scene in NUS central forum, where a crowd has gathered to watch a band performing at centrestage. Judging from the huge turn out, the band must have been playing good music, therefore generating a large audience. The many people who came could have been their friends just to support the band. In the background, there is a large poster that reads Original Music Society and therefore i can conclude that the band is playing their own compositions. The event is titled Lunchtime invasions and i presume that the band is called Epicurie because it is such cute name. On the red stage, there are four people. The guy standing on the left is the bassist, Nik, a chindian and is the newest member of the band. He adds intricate bass riffs to songs and blends an electronic raw flavour to the music. The girl standing at the centre of the stage is Mel and she is the lead singer. She has a very unique voice and most of the songs are composed by her. She inspires melodious guitar riffs around her solid meaningful lyrics, like flesh around coalesce to the bone. The guy sitting on the right of the picture is Uncle Yussof. He plays the guitar. Hiding behind the drums is Shane Koh, a budding self-taught drummer. He is also chindian and he likes pythons, cobras and holds Health Minister Khaw Boon Wah in reverent awe. Part 3: Questions Be prepared to answer questions directed to you. Generally the questions are related to the picture. Q: How did Epicurie form? Q: How many local bands actually make it. Q: What kinda music influences Epicurie? Q:How then will Epicurie set itself apart? Q: Why doesn't Epicurie have any recordings on it's myspace? And upon the end of this educational post, Yussof wishes all of you the best in future oral endeavours. (:
The public furor against oral examinations have come to yussof's attention after a couple (as seen above) were caught in the act at the breakwaters of East Coast Park.
But yussof thinks 'oral' should be encouraged instead.
-Look as if you are really excited about the whole experience
-Do not chew on your words, dare to open your mouth
-Use your tongue to pronounce the 's' and the 'sk' (ie. tasks and licks)
-Maintain a calm and composed outlook
-Don't stop even if u made a mistake.
-At the end, look happy
-Systematically describe events occuring in the picture
-Include your opinion to the events
-Suggest any implied meanings behind their actions
-Close by giving your view of the entire picture
A: They started out in their JC days, first getting their act together for a Halloween gig, then restructuring the band to take part in The One competition in which they won. They were mostly a recreational cover band for some time, but began to take their music more seriously when they began to be exposed to the local music scene, thus realising they had the potential to take their music further.
A: like one percent. We acknowledge this fact, but we are ready to take the risk!
A: I would say primarily Death Cab meets Muse and The Killers and subtly every other band that we have come across.
A: An epicure has a fine and exquisite taste for food. Like an epicure, we seek to find our own exquisite flavour but most importantly, i think the flavour is authentic in itself because it has very straightforward sound, yet the lyrics of and the sound lead to something deeper which we hope our listener finds in his own time. Very few local bands actually dare to sound like us actually. Their lead singers usually try to hit the high notes in live gigs for song dynamic purposes, but i think Mel sets us apart by emotionally relating to the crowd than to hit the highs. I would say feel epicurie than to listen to us.
A: Honestly we have a few recordings but not professionally done. With our new recording interface, we are all set to begin recording late May once our exams are over. Do listen out for us!
uncleyussof at 2:43 PM
It's 4am in the morning and I'm still shivering from the surrealism of watching coldplay. And no, it's not because i'm only in my boxers. It was my Mom's birthday when i was just 13 and i made her a birthday card since it was an annual tradition then to craft her one. However as a 13 year old imprudent kid, i foolishly wrote "Look at the stars, the colours shine for you and all the things that you do" therefore plaguerising Yellow, which was the angel of my airwaves then. My mom didn't know. She listened and still listens to Gold 90 FM. Tonight, just a few hours ago, i stood in the presence of the almighty band, surrounded by 10000, and I thank God that Singapore was included in the Viva La Vida tour (unlike malaysia who isn't). Yet it isn't my habit to pay for such expensive indulgences. On any other occasion i would have paid for dim sum with calvin and darren, or bought a more expensive cake for Mitochondria, or get an effects pedal for Epicurie or took my parents to high tea. But it wasn't any other occasion. It was coldplay coming to singapore. It was like meeting an overseas pen-pal whom u've heard so much about, who've influenced you in many subtle ways, yet remained unknown. It's like hearing so much about the Niagara Falls but not experiencing it. Now that i've justified myself, let's talk about Coldplay. They were phenomenal. Every detail in their concert was special and well thought, besides their choice of their opening act (which i wonder how much control they had over). Or maybe it was a smart move to choose an act that sucked in stark contrast. It was an exhilarating experience to hear the songs that were so familiar to me, live. I could feel the drumbeat beating in my chest. I could hear every single crisp note coming out of chris martin's mouth. And the with the energy and enthusiasm bursting from will, guy and jonny, it was only natural to jump and mosh along. Mel was waiting for Lost! and Shane was waiting for In My Place to be played. I was awaiting Fix You. And we all screamed respectively when our songs were played. Besides Chris' ballads, Coldplay rocked for doing acoustic covers literally in the crowd, using fanciful props and bursting butterfly-graffitti filled balloons while playing favourites like Yellow, Clocks, The Scientist and Life in Technicolour. And they have this ability of making u feel they gave u their best performance, leaving u feeling like u were their best audience. That's what Epicurie seeks to deliver on 26th March, 11am at the NUS Central Forum. Straight up, true, unpretentious yet exciting alternative music. Error-prone me will be playing the guitar on this acoustic set and we'll be playing originals! Should any one of u drop by, i'll give u a big hug. (: And to those who can't make it, i'm dedicating the songs to you all. Viva La Vida is spanish for long live life. I would like to think every day is a day worthy of celebrating life and seizing this opportunity, i would like to thank every one of you out there who care and include me in your prayers. You know who you are! I really wishd i could do something more to show the appreciation. And you yussof reader. 2009 awaits. Now as the sun creeps up, i'm ready to sleep, but my feet won't touch the ground. And thanks for letting me see through your eyes.
uncleyussof at 2:33 AM
It's night time and i'm all alone and it's raining outside. I decide to raid the stash in my medicine cabinet to relieve this song that's stuck in my head...
tonight it's just me and you and my medication
Found my way to the highway I don't wanna tell you the state Im in
I've had too much to smoke too much to drink where have I been
It feels like the stars are getting closer and the sky is closing in
And I don't know where to begin
We're all looking for something
To take away the pain
Me and you and my medication
Love is just a chemical creation
Synthetic sensation
Me you and my medication
The way back to the right track maybe you can help me find the door
Is it too much to ask, too much too fast, too much to ignore
It feels like your bodys getting closer but you seem so far away
Medicine make it ok
We're all looking for someone
To take away the pain
Can you feel it?
Do you feel it?
Coming down
You gotta get up
Can you get up
Off the ground
Can you hear it?
Can you hear me screaming?
Can you feel it?
Do you feel it?
Coming down
You gotta get up
Can you get up
Off the ground
I wanna hear it
Wanna hear you breathing
Were all addicted to something
That takes away the pain
or maybe i was just looking for something
uncleyussof at 12:23 AM
Many would revere Lee Kuan Yew and attribute the nation's accomplishment to his great vision and foresight, but in the process of great nation building we compromise with not chewing gum and paying high bus fares. Mistakes made by the government are hushed and downplayed by the media. Breeding Aedes Mosquitoes still ok. Yet breeding elitist MPs who learn really expensive cooking lessons are ignored. However yussof found all this acceptable. It was reported on the 28th of February that the 5th merlion, was struck by lightning during a thunderstorm, resulting in a huge bald patch as you can see in the picture above. This brought about mixed reaction from the general public, as yussof's reporter, yussof himself, found out. Was the merlion's bald spot of extra-terrestrial origins? and maybe about time i stopped these aze oil jokes. hehe
Great vision like no other
Not until this... 
The Merlion getting zapped.
It's not funny okay.
sharon lee, 15, student (who happens to be my sister): hahahahaha mummy told me the merlion got struck damn funnyyyy!
Such insensitivity.
Mr Tan, 47, unemployed uncle rotting at kopitiam: this is an ominous sign. It's going to spell uncertainty and retrenchment to the nation...look even i'm unemployed!
A case of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Seng Shiong (not to be mistaken for the supermarket), 14, student/part time dota player: Aiyo the merlion si bei poor thing, stand there shoot water oso tio zap!
Heartwarming concern.
Tolkok Singh s/o N.G , 29, Prepaid card dealer : Slumdog Millionaire won 8 oscars!
Maybe lightning zapped him too.
It may go unnoticed to the public, but it doesn't escape Yussof. Lightning strikes either tall objects or really good conductors of electricity. Ask any primary school kid, even he would know that. Did lightning really strike the Merlion with such accuracy; to it's head?
Yussof's team of an investigator (we are hiring), intercepted this bit of information while doing it's hourly scan of the solar system.
After thorough decrypting, Yussof's team managed to decipher what the message seemed to be saying.
In the first few wavelengths, it's high frequency is decoded to mean: UGLY AND RIDICULOUS LOOKING.
Then in the following wavelengths, the creature behind seems to mention something about tolerating that UGLY THING for years and has warned us for a very long time, through crop circles, that one day it's gonna BLAST THAT UGLY creature.
In the last few wavelengths, it seems to say it's seen bad statues being erected in the over civilisations and generations but not something to such a bad extent and that whoever invented such an ugly Mer...
And that's all our team could intercept.
Now this makes u wonder why all this bizarre shinanigans are happening. Things have been set into motion. Why exactly did the 4th year NTU student stab his professor? Or was it some goofy form of ALIEN MIND CONTROL... Why did they suddenly excavate a "world war 2" dud bomb at some site? Who saw that it was a bomb anyway?
It's about time we start to question our newspapers and their credibility. It's about time to stop hiding.
uncleyussof at 12:08 PM
oh wait i read wrongly, it's eucalyptus extract. *sheepish smile* In the meantime, this whole stomach-pain episode has robbed me of my last week spent relief teaching at macpherson secondary school! It has been a short but great two months teaching Fine Arts to the creative minds of our youth. In this short period of time i have gotten to know the entire secondary one cohort, since it's only 6 classes! Secondary Ones are generally irritating but as usual there are some really great kids out there. And getting to teach the sec2s this year was also a pleasure, since i taught most of YOU ALL science last year. It was a refreshing change and yeah I enjoyed most of the lessons watching you all work and gossip and talk rubbish to me at the same time. Sec 2E! Haha i never regretted taking up this extra class. At first i was taking only 10 classes and due to some circumstances, i had to take over your art lessons... I was a little unsure cos i didn't take you guys in sec 1, but 2E is a great class with many exciting individuals. Some with really a flair in art too. Thanks for all the fun and great memories! Sadly i couldn't bid everyone goodbye but i don't think this will be the last you'll be seeing of me! Sometimes when plagued with stomachaches we search for a cure.Sometimes when we're fazed with problems, we search for the answers. But most of the time, how sure are we that the answers we find are the right ones? Do we just find an axe-brand oil to just rub it all away...? Let's just rub and see if it goes away.
Check out the latest Axe Box.
Meet the most powerful mutant, Professor Axe.
and in the meantime, get the cool mean axe tatoo to show u're cool and mean and hip.
"Ask any Malaysian the best medicine for nausea, colds, headaches and stomach-aches and you'll instanty get the same reply: "Minyak Angin Cap Kapak". Literally translated as "Oil For Wind Axe Brand", the Minyak Angin Cap Kapak has become my loyal companion to relieve pain."
-a malaysian sauce
I wonder which genius of a singaporean came up with such a powerful concoction. A universal oil to ease all pain, headaches and swells? Sounds abit too good to be true la. Hecks, i dun even know what i'm rubbing on my tummy now! So dubious.
I JUST CHECKED ITS CONTENT, IT SAYS IT CONTAINS PLATYPUS EXTRACTS. YIKES!
uncleyussof at 5:16 PM
Hello. Before i could let those words sink in, we were called to gather around the coffin for a final prayer and then to bid our last goodbyes. I wanted to be place my hands on the coffin to say goodbye, but was too embarrased to do so in front of the crowd. So i decided to stay till there were less people watching me. Then i tapped the coffin and whispered a solemn goodbye. But i wasn't the last one to place my hands on the coffin, for i did not realise my grandfather in the corner of my blurred peripherals. I stole a glimpse and witnessed the most heartwrenching scene.
It wasn't all that sad at first, rather it was a great morning. To quote my primary school chinese compositions, the morning was feng he re li*( it was a great morning). Nearing the end of the wake, the pastor read a beautiful poem that jolted me out of my blogging slumber.
It was a long poem and according to Yussofstatistics, people wudden read a long poem on a blog even if u rewarded them with ice-cream. So here is a short extract!
from the beginning...to the end.
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth...
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
He planted a kiss on the glass panel which revealed her face and said "bye dear".
It is said the shortest verse in the bible is John 11:35: "Jesus wept."
In the most non-blasphemous sense, this shud be the shortest descriptive sentence in uncleyussof post, "Yussof teared". And no it wasn't a speck of sand in my eyes.
I was bewildered and highly distraught at that moment, not knowing how to feel, but there was this one song that kept playing in my head. To express my grief in another form than playing Muse on distortion, I felt that i had to share this song with everyone.
And it came to me then that every plan,
Is a tiny prayer to father time,
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU,
That reeked of piss and 409.
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself,
That I’d already taken too much today.
As each descending peak on the LCD,
Took you a little farther away from me.
Away from me.
Amongst the vending machines,
And year old magazines,
In a place where we only say goodbye.
It stung like a violent wind,
That our memories depend,
On a faulty camera in our minds.
And I knew that you were a truth,
I would rather lose,
Than to have never lain beside at all.
Then I looked around at all the eyes on the ground,
As the TV entertained itself.
'Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room,
Just nervous paces bracing for bad news.
Then the nurse comes round,
And everyone lifts their heads.
And I’m thinking of what Sarah said,
That love is watching someone die.
So who’s going to watch you die?
What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie
In my broadened perspective, the person who took your first kiss doesn't really matter. It's the person who kissed you last that truly loves you. Perhaps that's what really matters.
uncleyussof at 12:57 AM
Happy New Year everyone! And the old wise men know that it is imperative to reflect, anytime and anywhere. Be sure to return for more 2009 Uncleyussof rubbish!
I know it's kinda late but i only wished Inch Chua happy new year today, hoping she would autograph my Allura cd.
2008 has passed as soon as it arrived. I recall December as a blur of intense fuzzy memories, like that after a hangover. Everything just hurried by without sparing me some time to savour them. In its wake, friends were not shown how appreciative i am to them and meaningful lessons of life were not grounded into memory.
Therefore, I would take this time i have to reflect upon the sweet memories of 2008. Everyone should actually take some time off to think about their ups and downs and probably meditate on the precious values Life has bestowed us.
(including outside watsons to comb your hair)
uncleyussof at 5:02 PM
(get crab when u're alive) From the recent lack of activity in my blog, u might have assumed I got killed... Hollywood seems to agree with Yussof that there is this innate calling that leads us towards the Master Plan. Hollywood agrees that everyone is significant, important and equally, if not more purposeful. Hollywood feeds us hope that life probably isn't as mundane as it seems... And what a better way than to ingrain these notions to the children of the next generation via animated films. Alex the lion, whom i suspect is homosexual (why the selection of the unisex name Alex?) loves to sing, dance and entertain. Alex realises he is different from the other lions. However Alex persues his passion to entertain despite his setbacks. All to prove the point that no matter how different you are, how society discriminates you and how biologically inapt you are, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. This point is fully manifested when he does his bar-top dancing thingy in the forest to save his father and gain his approval. Po, the "Kungfu Panda" had a dream and no it wasn't the noodle dream. He dreamt of becoming the best fighter in the world. Despite criticism from everyone he knew, Po was deemed to be "predestined" when he landed in the middle of the selection of the Dragon Warrior thingy. Eventually, he was awarded the dragon scroll which supposedly contains the moves to defeat Arch-enemy Tai Lung. Everyone remembers what was in the dragon scroll. Nothing. Why? ...which i'm kinda skeptical of. It is easy to forget the painful training and constant humiliation Po went through in order to get to read the scroll. Yet Po defeated Tai Lung because he was himself. Which is a powerful message sent across. That we have it in us. That it's okay to be who you are. That qualities from others need not be acquired...because you just have to be who you are. There becomes no inquisition of knowledge, no strive for improvement, lack of conscientiousness we Asians boast and diligence to master a skill. Just because you already have it in you. Chill mate. Perhap's Pixar's Wall.E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter. Earth-class) gives a more realistic scenario. Going about cleaning up the thrash and finding a plant. Being cooped up in his daily routine, Wall.E still achieves a greater purpose. And even finds love. Are we to pursue this purpose, or let the hands of destiny pick us? Some people live their lives searching for this purpose in vain. Some live their lives oblivious to their fullest potential. Maybe it's just not for us to decide. I once felt that leading a church camp was something close to my purpose. I used to think about it relentlessly and had a great influx of ideas. Yet as it approaches I suddenly feel small, insignificant to this powerful force that overwhelms and seizes authority . Suddenly the camp advisor doesn't feel in control. Maybe this was meant to be.The dolby cinematic stereos thunders the enemy's footsteps. if comedic batman got darker,
I'm still alive. Half alive actually. But it's good to be alive. Isn't it?
Maybe as a matyr from Hesbolah.
Invertedly crucified for being a Christian.
Or as a noble test subject for a vaccine gone wrong.
Maybe shielding a bullet for my buddy in World War 4.
Maybe while I was picking up a stray ball a kid dropped along the road by a speeding car, which was rushing to the hospital with an expectant mother, knocked into me.
Or perhaps by a flower pot which was knocked over by the wind.
Maybe even the lightning struck me cos i did not send the sms to 10 of my true friends.
Or maybe getting dengue for the third time.
Or worse, dying in my sleep for no apparent reason.
Thing is, we all don't wanna die insignificantly. We kinda live for a reason.
And living, in my definition, isn't just possessing the ability to generate income in a luxurious office and drive home comfortably in a BMW.
Living is accomplishing something extraordinary.
Something you knew you were born to do.
Something you knew you HAD to do.
Some sort of calling of greater, higher order.
Commonly suggested as "Divine purpose" or "destiny".
Like you knew all your life you were made for that moment.
Wait wait. Does anyone remember...
Alex the lion from Madagascar?
Or Po from Kungfu Panda?
How about Wall.E?
Because you already have the secret ingredient in you.
Tai Lung approaches the temple for his final battle with Po.
so did uncleyussof.
uncleyussof at 4:00 AM
